“The Fate of Flying” By: Mazal Leviyev It’s been so long since Natara could fly. The wind blew her light brown curls away from her face like a grandparent wanting to have a look to see how much their grandchild has grown. She extended her legs out, no longer making contact with the ground. When she reached her peak, she lifted off the seat just an inch, reminding her to tighten her hold around the rusty chains of the swings. She bent her legs to drive her backwards into a smooth curve. A voice sounded from her left, but Natara went for one more round before allowing the soles of her worn-out Nike's to land. She moved her feet on the ground, rocking idly on the swing. “I did not hear anything you said for the past two minutes”, Natara said, adjusting herself to look at Dani's dark roasted eyes. Unlike the golden sun a couple of hours ago, the night sky didn't do justice to his caramel skin. She recalled the first time she painted him as part of a human figure study class a couple years back. They didn't know much about each other then, but she loved painting him. After close to a dozen tries, mixing various shades from brown to white and adding a pinch of gold, she finally found the perfect match for his complexion. When she showed Dani the finished piece, he proudly declared how she had turned him into a Sun God, compared to the melancholic works of her peers. Despite the professor's disapproval, Dani defended her and even begged her to let him keep the painting. He rolled his eyes, “I asked what time you are supposed to be back home to your sister.” “I can stay for longer cause my mom is taking care of her tonight.” Up until three in the afternoon, Natara would either work at her local pottery painting studio or attend classes at her college. Her mom wanted Natara to get herself a proper education, so while she was in class, her mother stayed home to take care of her sister who is on the higher end of the autistic spectrum. Most days her mom worked between 5:00 pm to 3:00 am, so Natara cares for her sister when she isn’t home. She prepared the only dinner her sister would eat, which was mac and cheese, gave her medication at whatever time the little orange bottle said, bathed her, and tucked her into bed. If she wasn’t too tired, she would work on her next art piece until her mom would get home. Natara’s phone vibrated in her back pocket. When she turned on the bright screen, a tiny blue mail notification came into view on her lock screen. Her body stiffened, trapped in a moment of paralysis. When her brain regained control, she threw her phone where it now lay several feet away from her. “What the hell did you do that for?” Dani asked. Her heart pounded against her chest. She stared at her phone on the gray matted floor as if expecting it to sprout legs. “I got an email from an art internship I applied to”, she responded, planting her hands on her knees. Dani’s first slender finger went up, “One, when did you apply for an internship”, a second finger went up, “And two, why didn’t you tell me?” “A month ago.” Natara didn’t tell anyone that she applied. She spent so long convincing herself to give it a shot. Every day for a week since the internship listing went up, she read over the lists of qualifications, responsibilities, and descriptions trying to find any valid reason for why she shouldn’t try. Her brain itched to know if her art pieces were good enough to get into the best art internship in the country. Natara inhaled a deep breath, allowing the cold air to fill her lungs, before she braced herself to grab her phone, keeping the screen face down. She headed towards Dani who still sat on his swing. His eyes drilled into hers as if he could figure out her thoughts. She let her legs touch his knees hoping it would somehow calm her racing heart. Sensing her panic, he gently touched the back of her leg. Turning on the screen, she clicked on the little blue email icon. Her eyes started reading, lingering a second longer on each word to make sure she didn’t misread anything. Starting from, Dear Natara and ending in, you have until December 1st to accept this position. She read it again. She got in. In a breathy voice, she whispered, “I got in”. Tears clouded her vision as she looked back at Dani’s blurry face. One of his hands intertwined with hers, “That’s amazing, Natara.” But there was one issue that she chose to ignore when she applied. “It’s in California.” Dani lowered his head and let out a low whistle, “Is this something you really want?” Across from the swings, her eyes followed the green and red playground she used to play on as a kid whenever her mom could spare her thirty minutes out of her week. The playground would be crowded with children running around and parents sitting on the benches. Natara wanted to get her mom to play with her, but the dark circles underneath her mother’s eyes made her think it was best to leave her alone. Natara and Dani were the only ones left at the park. Her eyes followed the ladder on the left side she used to climb, the monkey bars where she got terrible blisters from, all the way to the twisty slide she loved going down on. “You know, I never saw a future for myself”, she pulled on the sleeves of her black hoodie, “Or rather, I never allowed myself to see one. Like, it was always just a blank”. Her throat tightened but she went on, “Throughout the day, I mentally check off each task I perform. Attend classes? Check. Finish work? Check. Give my sister her meds? Check.” She choked out a laugh. “It was the same routine every day. What future would I even have if I never did anything different in my present? What would my future even look like? Why would I plan for something when it wasn’t fated to work from the start?” As soon as the words left her mouth, a small piece of the weight of the stones that lay deep in her chest chipped away. Natara glanced back down at her phone, her thumb hovering over the arrow button to reply to the email. She retracted her thumb, yet her eyes still lingered on the screen. Dani ran gentle circles with his thumb along the back of her hands and said, “Getting this internship might be a sign from Fate.” A chill wind enveloped her. She let out a long foggy cloud of breath. The cold comforted her enough to make her aware of every part of her body and the silence of the night. It reminded her of the late nights she stayed up painting each stroke on the canvas, waiting for her mom to get back from work. Dani continued, “You should do it”. A strand of her hair tickled the side of her cheek. Natara wrapped her arms around herself and looked down at Dani’s face. She studied its lines the way she studied the artworks at a museum. The way his jawline angled to a perfect “L” shape. The way his nose curved slightly like the Roman sculptures she saw at the MET. The way a subtle line formed under his brown eyes which let her know that she had his attention. She could feel the warm proximity of his breath. The way his soft lips parted slightly, matching her own, tempting her to bridge the gap between them. Natara closed her heavy eyelids and found her voice, “I know I should.” Summoning the strength to resist, she understood that some things were better left unexplored. A message notification from her mom popped up on her phone. She needed Natara to come home because her boss just called her into work last-minute. Before she left, Natara sat back on the swing for a couple minutes but decided not to fly.