Almost the entirety of my twenty or so odd years on this Earth have been spent in Pinellas County. Some Florida residents may be jealous of this, others not so much. Regardless, I believe this makes me more than qualified to rank my area’s worst beaches. Having access to countless beaches not more than twenty minutes away me my whole life has made me a firm believer in the notion that not every beach is a good beach. My personal criteria for a “good” beach would include three things: walkability, price of parking and cleanliness. Given that they’re the worst Tampa Bay has to offer, these three beaches do not meet the criteria to be considered even remotely “good” by my standards. Although relatively new, I consider downtown St. Pete’s Spa Beach to be one of Pinellas County’s worst. Never once have I met a local who would purposefully swim in the mucky bay waters off downtown St. Pete so you should understand my surprise in finding plenty of people splashing around at the pier this summer. I can assure you that there are other beaches on the gulf side of the county that have a better overpriced bar and grill within walking distance to spend your money at – since I’m assuming that’s what Spa Beach’s main appeal is. The beach itself is relatively small (so at least it’s walkable) but clean is probably the last adjective most St. Pete natives would use to describe its water. The area has become notorious for pollution over the years. The parking situation throughout downtown St. Pete is already bad enough, but at the pier (which Spa Beach sits on) it’s markedly worse. The lots there never seem large enough on the weekends and the prices are always enough to make anyone think twice about visiting the area. Treasure Island Beach is loved by many, but I avoid it as much as possible for multiple reasons. My biggest issue with this beach is the distance between the parking lot and the water. Out of all of Tampa Bay’s beaches, Treasure Island Beach seems to be the widest. I have always found that the hardest part of going to the beach is simply getting there – holding towels, bags, coolers, etc. while walking in ankle-deep sand is so difficult it feels like it could be an Olympic sport. Why make this process that much worse by extending the trip to the water twice fold? If you avoid Treasure Island and park at a lesser-known beach in the area you can spare yourself any damages that could have been incurred during an unnecessarily long walk across scalding sand. Heavily contested across the county, some people are avid Clearwater beachgoers while others steer clear of the place. I am part of the latter group. When I was a child, I used to find Clearwater’s chaos exciting – now I find it a nuisance. Clearwater Beach has become well known across the country for a handful of reasons – from its popularity as a fun spring break destination to its memorable Covid-related scandals in the news during the spring of 2020. Out of every beach I’ve visited, Clearwater has the most expensive parking and is littered with the most trash by far. On top of this, the distance between parking and the water’s edge is just far enough to put you in a bad mood. Regardless of my opinions, Pinellas County’s beaches are the lifeblood of the area. No matter the issues I have with the ones mentioned, they still lure in millions of tourists each year that help stimulate our economy and in turn help locals. So please, go visit the three beaches mentioned for yourself so you too can determine whether the walk from Treasure Island’s parking lot to the water is some sort of twisted punishment. However, if you go swimming at Spa Beach maybe try not to accidentally swallow some of the water.